Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Don't Destroy the Kitchen

Don't Destroy the Kitchen
It's time for North America's favorite new game show: Don't Destroy the Kitchen! (Cheers.) After ten consecutive weeks with no winner on Don't Break the Kitchen, we have decided to change our format to allow damage to appliances and cupboards. And that gives Irwin Goff, a lumberjack's apprentice from Backwoods County, an advantage over all previous contestants of this show. Irwin, you will be called upon to boil a kettle of water. Are you ready, Irwin? Go! (The crowd cheers wildly as Goff flings open the cupboard doors and smashes every plate and cup he finds. Looking under the sink, he pulls out a container.) No, that looks like a fuel tank. (Goff whacks the object against the counter.) That's all right, Irwin, those dents won't disqualify you. (Goff turns on the microwave and tosses the tank inside, causing a huge explosion.) Yes, and with that, I'm afraid we'll have to try again with another contestant. Perhaps no show will test your faith quite like Don't Destroy the Kitchen.   
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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